Alright, woman, I understand that you're cranky in the morning and you're terribly sensitive to everything anyone says to you ever (and sometimes when they're not even talking to or about you) and you have this amazing ability to not ever let anything slide and you've been going through menopause for the last, I don't know, decade or so. But seriously? Lay the fuck off. Like I don't have enough to deal with every day without you jumping down my throat because of how I stressed a word. And even when I said that I'm not feeling well and really not in the mood for it, you got all bullshit about it like you don't know how it feels to have someone on your ass ten minutes after you wake up. And let's not forget that I revealed to you, not five minutes before your explosion of outrage, that I stayed up until nearly two in the morning to make sure your (ever important, I must assume, because you repeated "my laundry isn't going to get done tonight, is it?" at least three times over the course of the evening) laundry got finished and folded even though I'm not supposed to be bending or lifting or any of that, and you already had a different outfit prepared, but, of course, didn't say anything to me about it. And I didn't complain because it's not my place to, even though, as I said, I'm not supposed to be doing any bending or lifting, so says my physical therapist, and I'm allergic to everything in the basement. In addition, sitting up in my video game chair, playing Army of Two and waiting for your clothes to dry, killed my back. So I'm cranky, tired, frustrated and sore and you still give me crap.
Also? Not an awesome way to behave toward me when I have to spend my entire day doing things for you, like calling your tax dude and going down to his office with your tax stuff, then calling the BJ store to see if they can handle the repairs on your van, then going there and waiting for god only knows how long while they fix it, provided they can. And after all this is said and done, I have to make an appointment for an eye exam even though we don't have the money for me to get glasses, so it will be like breaking my own heart. And that sucks. And I still have to figure out what the fuck is going on with my insurance/the pharmacy/doctor theory, and why I can't get my god-damn Nexium.
I SLEPT FOR MAYBE FOUR HOURS AT MOST LAST NIGHT BECAUSE I WAS DOING SOMETHING FOR YOU. YOU KNOW, SOMETHING NICE AND RESPECTFUL. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS LAY OFF FOR FIVE EFFING MINUTES OR MAYBE LET THE SMALL THINGS SLIDE. PEOPLE LET THINGS SLIDE ALL THE TIME, YOU KNOW. YOU ARE THE MOST ANAL PERSON I KNOW. NOT EVERYONE IS OUT TO GET YOU, LEAST OF ALL ME. I AM THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS STUCK WITH YOU THIS LONG. I DON'T EXPECT PRAISE, BUT YOU COULD, AT THE VERY LEAST, NOT COMPLAIN SO FUCKING MUCH.