After my visit to Dr. Theory (as I like to call him because half of everything he said to me started with "it is my theory that...", leading me to believe that nobody trusts anything he says, hence why his facts are still theories), I, at the very least, now have a solid date for my Gastroscopy. While the thought of being sedated while someone shoves something down my throat generally makes me think of rape, I'm really hoping it figures out... something. Anything. Please.
Dr. Theory ended my visit by telling me everything I can't consume, including soda, tomato products, citrus beverages, chocolate, coffee, tea, liquor of any sort, and pretty much anything with high fructose corn syrup. So. I can't drink soda or tea, but I also can't drink juice, even if it's not citrus, because they all have high fructose corn syrup in them. So what am I left with? Milk and water? Awesome. Fucking awesome.
Dr. Theory also had to bring up the C word just before I left. In giving me the possibilities of what could be found during the procedure, he mentioned that it could very well be the start of a cancer. Oh yeah. That's just what I want to hear.
Thank you, Dr. Theory.