And because my mother took last night off I wasn't able to pay attention to any icontests and I couldn't work on icons... and GOD DAMN IT I'M BEHIND SCHEDULE NOW AND NOW I'M GOING TO TRY TO RUSH EVERYTHING AND IT'S ALL GOING TO BE CRAP. I HATE MY MOTHER SO FUCKING MUCH RIGHT NOW. I even asked her last night if I could get an hour or something so I could get things started at least, and she said ok but as soon as I sat down she started that sighing thing she does when she doesn't get her way. Just over and over sighing and light groaning from a foot away as she sat on the edge of the bed watching the computer screen as if I was going to do something wrong. I can't work with people staring over my shoulder. After like five minutes of that, I said fuck it and left. And she went on all night about how I shouldn't be in a foul mood because she gave me the chance to be on and how I had no right to be mad at her for anything in the world because she bought the computer and it was all my fault she had no social life.
I think maybe she's driving me insane. I figure that eventually I'll start thinking like her... and I really don't want that. I think I'll kill myself at the first signs of blaming everyone else for my problems and referring to everything as "part of the game". There is no game.