Liz, yo (oulan) wrote,
Liz, yo
oulan

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Fanfiction Survival Guide

I've found that the fastest way to get me to not read your fanfiction is to post it with an ugly icon. Call me shallow. Call me inconsiderate. Call me awesome (because I am). But I can't get past it. If I'm looking at a 45x100 square of blurry half-naked man, even if your summary reads "five man orgy, then dinner, then four man orgy, then random scene with tigers, then public displays of sex, castles, diet coke beverages, dance breaks, no pants to be found in the world, Woo Hyuk shows up with Flamedramon and destroys a building, ps: award winning writing", I'm not going there.

Scratch that. I'd probably read that anyway. That's not helping my argument, but come on. Look at that. Side note: my birthday is in two months. :)

Let's talk key words. When I'm scrolling along my f-list and I come across a fanfiction post that contains any of the following, I literally shut down and have to go make a sandwich or something. They are, in no particular order: Soandso x OC, Soandso x you (to which I actually speak out loud to the screen, "AJ CAN'T HANDLE ME"), any combination of superflydude x any member of SHINee (actually, superflydude isn't even needed. SHINee usually just shuts me down on their own. Also, if I'm seeing SHINee, you're posting in the wrong place anyway.), mpreg, MPREG, person a/person b, person a/person c, person a/person d, person e/person c (shit, I haven't even read it and I'm already fucking confused. Good job), surprise pairing (bitch, you tell me who you're writing about. I don't want to get to the end and find out I've just read a Heechul, Yunho, Junhyung, Thunder, that creepy dude from UKISS buttsex pile-up. No lie, I might actually kill myself after something like that), cross-media crossover (here's looking at you, Beast fandom. Yoseob looked like Roxas for a while. He's not having sex with Axel. Bottom line).

... yes, I read that. I needed to know. And now I desire nothing more than to forget.

Now I feel really uncomfortable. Request to just delete this entire entry denied.
Tags: chotitimes, cutenakedlady, jesus fucking christ, ok we can!, pay close attention, seasalt icecream, trufax, v. games, very personal, what?
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