Liz, yo (oulan) wrote,
Liz, yo
oulan

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Money well spent

I redid the placing for all the H.O.T posters on my walls yesterday... JUST TO HAVE iryokuatae SHOW ME MORE STUFF I NEEDED TO BUY. Plus he's sending me another poster so like wtf? I mean, right now Toshiya is the biggest thing up there... but I have a very very small room and it can't take much more. The reason I had to move everything was because I decided it was finally time to get the Seigaku poster back up there somewhere so Jae had to come down, swapped with JTL, JTL moved underneath Woo Hyuk and finally there was room for the tennis players in the corner above my bed. *Sigh* Yeah.

And because my mother took last night off I wasn't able to pay attention to any icontests and I couldn't work on icons... and GOD DAMN IT I'M BEHIND SCHEDULE NOW AND NOW I'M GOING TO TRY TO RUSH EVERYTHING AND IT'S ALL GOING TO BE CRAP. I HATE MY MOTHER SO FUCKING MUCH RIGHT NOW. I even asked her last night if I could get an hour or something so I could get things started at least, and she said ok but as soon as I sat down she started that sighing thing she does when she doesn't get her way. Just over and over sighing and light groaning from a foot away as she sat on the edge of the bed watching the computer screen as if I was going to do something wrong. I can't work with people staring over my shoulder. After like five minutes of that, I said fuck it and left. And she went on all night about how I shouldn't be in a foul mood because she gave me the chance to be on and how I had no right to be mad at her for anything in the world because she bought the computer and it was all my fault she had no social life.

I think maybe she's driving me insane. I figure that eventually I'll start thinking like her... and I really don't want that. I think I'll kill myself at the first signs of blaming everyone else for my problems and referring to everything as "part of the game". There is no game.
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