Liz, yo (oulan) wrote,
Liz, yo

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The Horror

What the crap is with these crack fandoms? No, Harry and Snape are not perfect for each other and no, I do not believe that Zidane and Steiner are "just so cute". Dammit, people, there's gayboylove and then there's REALLY STUPID SHIT YOU NEED TO STOP DRAWING / WRITING ABOUT. This entry focuses on FMA and why there should never, ever be any yaoi smut written about the characters in it.

First, and most importantly, Ed is way too fucking young. A lot of the "happy little ficwriters" out there love to include this little guy. It is Just. Fucking. Wrong. Get it into your heads that Roy is like a billion years older than him and the image of those two going at it is too much for this poor girl's eyes to bear. This is so wrong. So, no Ed.

Ok, I'm gonna throw two facts at you here. It might sting, but get the fuck over it. First, Roy Mustang is straight. Ok, got it? Ready for the next one? Maes Hughes is straight. Woah! Who fucking knew right? I dunno, it could be the fact that Roy is a dangerously sexy pimp with women on the mind OR the fact that Hughes is fucking married and has an adorable daughter that he is absolutely obsessed with. Where do they get a relationship with that?

They have a word, a fucking WORD, for Ed on Al action. Boys and girls, I give you: Elricest. Pick your jaws up off the floor. Let's go over why this can never be. First, and in my opinion most important, they are brothers and incest is really fucking gross. Second, how can we overlook the fact that Al is a god-damned suit of armor. I'm sure the ficwriters just... I dunno... forgot.

I'm sure there's more to be said but I figure it's about time I wrap the written part of this up.

I will now include FMA comms you cannot join because I said so but I have made a list of anyway so you can see how fucked the world is:
hughesxroy - The reason I wrote this. Hughes x Roy.
inochi_no_tsuna - I wasn't sure at first, but... Envy/Edward/Wrath/Greed
havocroy - Havoc x Roy crackness
wrathxenvy - Wrath x Envy. Has only 8 members... I wonder why.

I, of course, make an exception for this one... because its a spoof and its funny:
nazixalchemist - The Hitler x Hohenheim 'ship community

I will now include parts of a related conversation I had with Juice earlier:

Degac Creep: ok, I'm all for yaoi, you know that, but some things are just wrong... like, for example, AN ENTIRE LJ COMMUNITY DEDICATED TO ROYxHUGHES LOVE. No... noooooo.... NO MOTHER FUCKING NO
Fantaisie Bleu: he's married ; ;
Fantaisie Bleu: with a kid ; ;
Fantaisie Bleu: and he's deaaaaaaad
Fantaisie Bleu: *sniff*
Degac Creep: they are both SO OBVIOUSLY STRAIGHT that it is just wrong to... to... EVEN THINK OF IT
Fantaisie Bleu: and the roy ed ones
Degac Creep: oh god
Degac Creep: stop talking

Degac Creep: oh... god... *horror*
Fantaisie Bleu: wa
Degac Creep: I was just checking out LJ comms, right, like I do, and I came upon this one and after gandering a few posts I found myself wondering just what the fuck the comm was for... I was... unprepared...
Degac Creep: "This site is devoted to Envy, Edward, Wrath(anime), and Greed. Any combination of those four is welcomed."
Fantaisie Bleu: ...
Fantaisie Bleu: wrath..
Fantaisie Bleu: he's little ; ;
Fantaisie Bleu: IT'S A CHILD
Fantaisie Bleu: CHIIIIIIIILD

Thus ends my little rant.

And I shall conclude this all with my new default icon that I made yesterday to match my layout:
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